Pitch-blackness. Tony’s jeep lights flare on. A car passes, lights off. Its DRIVER yells:
Turn off those lights, ass-hole!
What did he say?
No lights after dark.
Suddenly GUNFIRE sounds around them. Melanie SCREAMS.
Tony veers expertly. GUNS fire. Bullets hit street near jeep.
What’s the matter? Think of the
Tony veers through rubble, swerves to avoid other vehicles. GUNFIRE continues. Sparks fly everywhere.
Stop it! Stop it!
Melanie fumbles for light-switch, car-keys, wheel, anything.
The jeep zigzags crazily. GUNFIRE sounds. Bullets strike sparks. Passing vehicles BLOW HORNS. Melanie SCREAMS. Tony YELLS.
Stop it! Stop it!
Cut that out! Cut it out!
Melanie’s clawing hands hit and clutch Tony’s crotch.
lets out a profound CRY.
The jeep runs off the road into a cushioning hedge, stops.
Tony MOANS as Melanie switches off motor and lights.
How could you do that to me?
How could you know we’d be safe?
Tony turns to face her. He’s never been this scary before.
(with both barrels)
Because I was raised in this rubble, honey. l know where the guns are and I know where
the girls are. That’s how I survived so far, and I’ll survive you. So you pull just one more Beverly Hills debutante party-prank on me, Miss Tits, and I’ll throw you to the wolves with your pants down. And I know where the wolves are in the mysterious Asian night. I was raised by them!
Melanie’s beautiful face is wet with sudden tears.
Oh, God, Tony, I don’t want to make
trouble for you! Less than anybody
in the world, trouble for anyone
like you! I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
Melanie reaches out, takes Tony’s angry face in her hands. He could almost collapse into that famous bosom, but he recoils.
How could even you be stupid enough
to think I’d soften for a woman’s tears?
Melanie stares at Tony, turns away.
Tears and incredible weariness distort Melanie’s beautiful features. She looks out jeep window at —
— the hideous rubble of Thainia. Just enough light to see TWO ORPHAN CHILDREN scrabbling in the ruins beside barbed wire where an indifferent GUARD ignores them.
You got gum, solider? You got
something to eat?
She composes it and turns.
No, no, of course you wouldn’t.
Time to take me home, I think —
wherever that may be.
Tony is more moved than he’d admit. But he mockingly says —
Gee, Melanie, baby. I should have
known you’re not the kind of a girl
that parks on the first date.
Tony starts the jeep and backs out.
The jeep backs out and heads away down the dark street.
EXT. A RESIDENCE — NIGHT — SHORTLY LATER
The most distinguished building left standing in Thainia. Its Colonial dignity contrasts with its barbed-wire fencing and gate-guards. A CAR ENGINE approaches. GUARDS brace, guns at ready.
Out of the darkness, Tony’s jeep appears.
laugh and relax. The jeep pulls into frame with Guards.
The passenger door swings open. WE SEE of Tony only his hand. Melanie gets out of jeep. Guards go to attention.
Good evening, Ms. Marlowe. Right
this way, if you please.
Guards stand ready by Melanie while ANOTHER GUARD opens gate. MORE GUARDS appear, surround Melanie, and walk her through the gate.
Melanie and Guards go up walk to door. Melanie is composed. The jeep is visible over her shoulder. Tony’s hand appears and SLAMS the passenger door. Melanie reacts but slightly. Gate closes.
Door of residence swings open and a motherly MATRON appears.
Welcome, Ms. Marlowe. Your
accommodations are prepared.
on porch of residence as Matron stands aside to let Melanie enter. Guards remain on porch.
as WE HEAR jeep PULLING AWAY. Melanie’s emotions fight on her face. Then, suitably “tweety,” Melanie says —
Goodness, you mean these perfectly
scrumptious men have to stay outside?
Guards grin, Matron frowns, Melanie enters residence. The door closes in our face. A sign reads “V.I.P. SECURITY.”
EXT. SKY – (THE NEXT) DAY
HELICOPTER NOISE. Blades spin against sky.
EXT. OVER JUNGLE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Dense green jungle. Shadows of three moving helicopters.
EXT. ANGLE UNDER HELICOPTERS – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Three big military helicopters in loose formation.
INT./EXT. HELICOPTER – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Laughs delightedly. She’s “on,” “tweety,” all charm.
Big chopper, roomy, bare-bones. Melanie in G.I. coverall and army shoes signs a rifle butt. A high-heeled shoe juts from each of her coverall pockets. Four GUARDS and a CAPTAIN stand around her, charmed.
Less charmed, garbed as usual, Tony sits on a coiled-up rope ladder by the door, sunglasses down.
Melanie hands the rifle to a Guard.
There you go, honey.
Oh, gosh, Ms. Marlowe —
Melanie. I can’t carry a rifle
with that on the butt.
Honey, if I’d known it was your butt —
Melanie takes rifle, kisses butt. Soldiers react hilariously.
So, captain, how much longer before
we get to —
throws a dangerous warning look at Melanie.
— wherever it is we’re going to?
I’m so anxious to show the boys. I
mean, do my show for the boys.
We’re pretty near it now, ma’am. We’ll
circle till our decoy lands.
Captain indicates another chopper. Melanie looks out window.
–draws near. Carstairs, in sexy dress, waves to Melanie.
Yes, ma’am, for your protection.
You’re going to make —
I mean “let” that drag-queen steal
poor little Melanie’s thunder?
Well, ma’am, if there’s thunder,
I sure hope so.
Captain and Guards grin at Melanie’s naiveté.
That “drag-queen” risked his life
to save your ass.
Hey, not in front of a lady!
Watch it, Sunday.
I’m watching it. I just don’t
I know what he’s doing, Tony-baby.
Soldiers react to Melanie’s calling Tony “baby.”
But yesterday I didn’t know.
Tony and Melanie stare at each other. Tension breaks when —
— PILOT sticks his head around cabin door.
Over destination, skipper.
Yes, ma’am. Down there’s Looing-
Fo Replacements Base.
Captain holds onto Melanie so she can look down on base.
A rambling, fenced collection of many buildings with watchtowers at three corners, and at fourth a conspicuous water tower. A horde of SOLDIERS CHEERS arrival of choppers.
Melanie thinks fast. She looks at Tony, sitting on—
She looks out door at —
–where Carstairs stands waving to the troops, utterly exposed.
My, this is just so exciting! I can’t
remember when I’ve been so exhilarated.
Just me all alone with all you brave men.
(Suddenly, sharply, to Tony)
You! Don’t you ever stand in the presence
of a lady?
The Guards guffaw as Tony stands with a mock-courteous bow.
Excuse me. I thought I was watching
some kind of show.
No sooner said than done.
Holding top rungs of ladder, Melanie waves, “bye-bye,” throws a kiss, and —
The three choppers. Melanie leaps from her chopper. The remainder of the rope ladder unreels, leaving Melanie swinging in space with many feet of ladder below her, ending just above Soldiers.
There’s a collective gasp.
All inhabitants stand frozen, then lunge for door, almost pushing each other out. Tony stands on remaining ladder, preventing further release.
A thousand Soldiers gasp and then CHEER like you never heard!
swings in space, laughing at her own audacity, looks up.
Tony and Captain gape at Melanie.
TONY AND CAPTAIN
–smiles up at Tony over field of Soldiers.
Hey, watch the language. I’m a lady?
Carstairs gapes at Melanie’s deed, laughs, whips off his wig.
(A) Melanie climbing down ladder, grandstanding for Soldiers. Melanie takes high heels from pockets, kicks off her Army shoes, strips off coverall to reveal dazzling cocktail dress.
(B) Soldiers on field, running back and forth with Melanie’s shadow on them, cheering, waving Melanie to come on down, catching her shoes and coverall.
(C) Tony and Guards in chopper, trying to reel Melanie in.
(D) Captain and Pilot in ferocious confab.
(E) The helicopters overshooting the field and circling back.
(F) The decoy chopper. Carstairs shakes his head in admiration.
(G) BRASS on steps of Officer’s Mess at Looing-Fo, fairly scarlet with indignation.
What should I do, skipper? By which
I mean, what the fuck should I do?
Take the day off.
We can’t reel her in. She’d get smashed
against the pontoons. Lower her down gently.
Trust the boys to catch her.
You heard him. Sunday, you get full
responsibility for this. Enjoy it.
EXT. LOOING-FO – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Ladder swings just above the heads of the Soldiers. Melanie’s feet and legs are in view. Soldiers try to grab the ladder.
Take me! I’m yours!
Melanie lets go and falls into their arms. She’s in the cocktail dress, holding high-heeled shoes. Soldiers “body-surf” Melanie clear across the encampment as she laughs in delight.
across the field. She floats on the palms of the Soldiers, across the camp and past a bandstand where MUSICIANS wait. Just behind the bandstand, Melanie is set upright before Brass on the steps of the Officer’s Mess. She stands, breathless but beautiful, before Brass’s collective condemnatory gaze. She smiles “tweetily” at them as she slips her shoes on. She looks up over their heads and sees a sign, “OFFICERS MESS.”
Well, I don’t know about you gentlemen,
but I’m famished. Who wants to mess
with a movie star?
Melanie offers her arm to HIGHEST-RANKING OFFICER. He helplessly takes it and leads her into Mess.
Even as Melanie’s chopper touches earth, Tony is out and fighting his way through the raucous Soldiers.
A long table, splendidly set. Officers stand by their chairs in stunned silence. An ORDERLY holds a chair for Melanie. Melanie sits and turns on the charm before Brass can speak.
You don’t know how that takes it out of
a girl. I hope there’s something for
lunch to put it back into her. Please sit,
gentlemen. I’m on at eleven hundred.
Officers grudgingly sit.
You’ll have time for lunch, Miss Marlowe.
I don’t believe in holding my openings.
We’re afraid show-time has leaked out.
Jinkies, I wonder how?
So we’ve delayed it to 1400 hours.
Oh we have, have we?
In fact, we may have decided to cancel
I’m just picturing you in the altogether.
Oh, please, you may call me “Ms.”
(just about fed up)
Miss Marlowe. After this ridiculous
breach of security —
Don’t worry about the security of my
Whatever. There are people out there
waiting for this show. It’s important.
There are things more important than
a cooch-show, Miss Marlowe.
What time is it, sugar?
Uh – ten fifty-six, Ms. Marlowe.
I love you, sugar.
Sorry to not-eat and run. Eat each other.
Melanie stalks toward door. Officers gawk, then stand to pursue.
Miss my ass!
Sorry, sugar. You I like.
Melanie shoves the Orderly at the Brass. Brass fall over. She makes the door. Tony is just coming in. Melanie grabs his arm.
Come on. The service is lousy.
Melanie swings Tony out the door before he can speak.
Melanie comes out of the Officers’ Mess and drags the startled Tony through a mob of Soldiers which opens before and closes after Melanie and Tony.
The Brass emerges from the Officers Mess and runs up against the backs of the crowd of Soldiers.
You could have been killed.
Beverly Hills Debutante Gymnastics
What do you think you’re doing?
Soldiers help Melanie and Tony up wooden steps onto the bandstand prepared for her show.
Melanie drags Tony past waiting Musicians. In passing, she clicks “on” such electric instruments and loudspeakers as she passes. FEEDBACK HOWLS. There is an answering HOWL from —
— the vast mob of Soldiers ranked as far as the eye can see, waiting for the show. In b.g. the water tower is conspicuous.
The Brass makes its way through Soldiers to the steps, and would climb them, but they are stopped by the CHEERS of the Soldiers as –
Melanie comes into full view, leading Tony. The wall of SOUND from Soldiers terrifies him. He holds back. She turns to him.
Welcome to my world.
Tony breaks her grip and flees. Melanie shrugs. She shades her eyes and scans the Soldiers as if looking for a replacement.
Soldiers, of course, stand, SCREAM, “Me! Me!”
Tony reaches steps, faces angry Brass, retreats to stand by a Drummer and watch the show.
Melanie mimes not being able to choose and spreads her arms to embrace all the Soldiers. As they CHEER even louder, if possible, Melanie goes to a mike and taps it. It’s on.
Testes! Testes! Are you there?
They tried to make me eat with the
brass, but I told ’em, “I’d rather
mess with your privates.” Band?
Watch my rear.
As APPLAUSE dies down, Melanie chats with Soldiers over mike.
Where are you fellas from?
They SHOUT hundreds of town and state names.
You know where I’m from?
If I am, I’m a long way from home.
We all are. A long ways from where
we’d like to be, where we ought to be,
where we could be if we all worked together.
Soldiers sense her seriousness, become quiet as she speaks on.
No one can know the respect and the
gratitude I feel for all you boys —
for ALL boys fighting strangers far
from home — or even those who are near home, caught in a war we all just wish would end.
Melanie turns to face Tony upstage.
That’s why I’m here, if you’d like
to know. Because I really care
about, really love you.
Baffled, as you may imagine.
Turns to face Audience again.
And you! And you! And you!
Is she always this unpredictable?
I don’t know. I don’t know
what the hell she’s doing.
Melanie backs ‘way upstage until she’s by Tony. With a straight face, she grabs Tony’s arm and checks his watch.
Okay, we’ve got one minute.
Melanie struts back downstage, out of frame.
Tony scans the jungled hills, the water-tower, the enthralled Soldiers, Melanie trying to hush them. His gaze ends on –
— including Carstairs, wig off and an Army coat over his shoulders, but still in make-up and drag, enjoying the show.
Anxiety, suspicion, frustration, irritation.
Melanie kneels to talk to ringside Soldier.
(holding boy’s hand)
Where you from, angel-eyes?
Uh — Corpus Christi, Texas, ma’am.
(examines boy’s watch)
And what time is it in Uh-Corpus-Christi?
Uh – ah – fifteen hours earlier, ma’am.
Well, that means it’s eight last
night there, then, because —
— it’s precisely eleven a.m. here,
so I guess it’s just — about — time —
for — me — to —
Tony, anxious, runs up on stage. FOLLOW TONY up to mike where
Melanie says —
— sing a song for you!
Tony screeches to a stop onstage, feeling rather foolish. Melanie makes Tony a part of the act.
What’s a matter, Tony? Got a request?
This is Tony Sunday, guys. Tony guards
my body. Ooooooo. They just couldn’t
find anyone else willing to take on the job!
Tony would leave. Melanie gently restrains him.
I make Tony want to go. Funny — I usually
have the opposite effect on men. Tony wants to
protect me — I don’t know from what.
I guess he’s just supposed to be with me
in case anything comes down.
(lets a strap fall)
So I’ll just dedicate this song to
Tony, my constant companion.
(for benefit of Musicians)
Tony, “Make A Date With Me?”
Soldiers HOWL. This is clearly a signature song of Melanie’s.
To Tony’s embarrassment, Melanie sings to him:
Come on, cutie, make a date with me.
Name the time and place.
Any other guy would eagerly
Get right in my face.
Don’t be indefinite, don’t be late.
Let’s get something firm and straight.
Between us. For Heaven’s sake,
Make a date with me!
Melanie releases the humiliated Tony, who escapes upstage. Melanie does a little dance between choruses. She begins to sing again, stumbling awkwardly on some lyrics.
Come on, beauty, make a date with me.
Let’s see, where shall we meet?
Don’t be mean to Melanie.
Uh – I don’t know the names of these camp streets.
Tony overhears as Drummer talks with Bassist.
What’s that, special material? Or
is she losing it?
Never heard those words before. I
think she’s improvising.
Tony perks up his ears.
Melanie, dancing, looks all around, obviously gets an idea.
Oh, I’ve got the spot. I’ve got the hour!
Midnight on the dot! By the water tower!
Melanie starts dancing freely, as if released.
Tony looks hard from —
— the camp water tower, to Carstairs, to Melanie.
desperately tries to put two and two together as
Don’t give in to doubt.
Three strikes and you’re out!
Soldiers SING tag-line along with Melanie.
MELANIE AND SOLDIERS
Don’t give in to doubt.
Three strikes and you’re out, etc.
Melanie dances with a pleased, secretive look on her face, free as a bird.
Melanie gives Tony private glances as she dances.
Tony is baffled. What exactly is Melanie up to?
Barbed wire fence. A sign that reads “LOOING-FO BASE GUEST QUARTERS.” A GUARD stands watch. The Guest Quarters consists of a long Quonset hut. One window is lit. Simultaneously, WE HEAR:
I did not say that.
Yes, you did!
I did not. I did not.
You most certainly did!
INT. GUEST QUARTERS – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Melanie’s without make-up, hair tied starkly back.
I did not say that this is a prison.
I said it has certain characteristics
in common with a prison!
dismal room in the Quonset hut. Minimal accommodations. Melanie sits on bed in pajamas. Tony paces back and forth. They’ve been arguing a while.
Do you have any idea what kind of
trouble you can cause talking like that?
Trouble for you, Tony?
Don’t flatter yourself you could make
trouble for me.
Good. I wouldn’t want that. Honest.
Nobody would blame me for anything unless
you got away from here —
Aha! “Got away!” It is a prison and you
No, it is a war!
It is supposedly a war against tyranny and
oppression, and yet the alleged champions
of freedom restrict me against my will!
Well, Jesus, God, Allah, Confucius, and Buddha!
You mean there’s some place where you can’t do
just what you want to every livelong minute? Stop the press! Declare a miracle! Issue a stamp!
INT. HALLWAY OF GUEST QUARTERS – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
A young GUARD stands watch at Melanie’s door. With him, WE HEAR MELANIE AND TONY quarreling, but no words are clear. Guard looks bewildered.
INT. MELANIE’S QUARTERS – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
That shit you pulled today! You could
have got yourself killed.
Oh, nonsense. They’re not out to kill me.
(leaping on it)
They who? How do you know?
Melanie realizes she’s slipped, retreats to safer ground.
You just think I’m a spoiled brat.
You don’t know what I think, and yes,
All my life I’ve been imprisoned.
My parents, producers, the studio!
YOU should understand.
You Beverly Hills bitch! You dare compare
your Freudian fantasyland with the fucking
nightmare my people live in?
Melanie reacts with painful pity to his mention of “my people.” She conceals her pity. Then she gets an idea.
(considering a scheme)
Tony… do you have any relatives left?
(too angry to get wise)
I got relatives left, I got relatives
right, I got relatives in the middle
of the road — under tank treads!
Anyone who would miss you?
Everyone’s missed so far. That’s
why I’m alive.
You don’t know anything about me!
I know ‘way more about you than you
know about real life!
Then show me! Quit beating me up and
(turns on the tears)
Quit punishing me for being born rich
and famous and beautiful and lucky!
Hey, don’t. Don’t do that. Come on.
Melanie weeps. Tony sits on bed beside Melanie.
Look, get me out of this asylum for an
hour, okay? Despite what I said about
imprisonment, I was never actually locked
up like this. It’s got me looney.
You poor kid. You got demons inside
you too, don’t you? You know what you
do? You hide them too well. Hey,
maybe you really can act.
Of course I can act. You don’t think
anybody’s actually tweety, do you?
Look, you know this camp. You probably
even know the jungle, right? You’d be
safe, no matter what?
I done some smuggling, yeah.
Let’s get out and see the camp.
There’s no action around here…
I’m not looking for sex!
I mean no enemy action. That’s why the
replacement base is here. But I could
probably scare up an all-night poker
game for you.
Oh, that would be so much fun! Let’s
do that! Where do you suppose they play?
In the barracks? In the cook house?
Melanie’s being adorable. Tony’s buying it, until she adds —
Under the water tower?
It comes together for Tony. He manages to cover his reaction to Melanie’s “slip”.
Or wherever. Let me get dressed.
Melanie hops up and grabs clothes.
Tony ponders a scheme of his own.
Yeah. I’ll go work it. We should
hurry. It’s nearly midnight.
(just reacts to this)
Is it? I’ll hurry.
You do that. I’ll be right back.
GUARD present. Tony comes out of Melanie’s room. Guard snaps to. Tony closes door.
Hey, how ya doin’?
Lay off. I’m hired help. Have a smoke.
On duty, SIR!
Tony continues to hold the cigarette pack throughout scene.
Look, you could be the boy I’m lookin’
for. I need a friend. Know what I mean?
No, sir. Tony.
Sure you do. You like Miss Marlowe?
Oh, crap, she’s beautiful. Sir. Tony.
Well, I’m gonna tell you somethin’ man-to-man.
No – Tony, sir.
Sure you do. Here in this alien land,
Miss Marlowe is feelin’ lonely, understand?
God, you’re gonna get this outa me, ain’t cha?
See, if I can get alone with Miss Marlowe, I
think I can get in there. You understand, right?
Sure, crap, I understand that.
But as you’ve figured out for yourself, Miss
Marlowe, due to her celebrity, is shy of having
people know when she is up to what we’re talkin’ about. Understand?
Oh, crap, sure.
So if you could have a small call of nature
for, say, an hour..?
Oh, crap, I don’t know…
I might not need the whole hour, it being
the most beautiful woman in the world
salivatin’ for it right inside that door…
Guard hesitates, torn. Tony closes in for the kill.
And she’s gonna want somethin’ else for the
remainder of that hour. Do you follow me?
You. Follow. Me.
Me and Melanie Marlowe? Crap!
Hey, don’t lose it now. You’ll need it.
If the captain of the guard came by —
We’ll fit ‘im in. You know what these
Hollywood women are like.
My mama always said.
Mama was right.
Crap. Where would I go?
(indicates across the hall)
My room’s right there.
Crap. I could wait there. If you’re
Tony punches top of cigarette pack.
Okay. Got that on tape.
What did you —
(displays cigarette pack)
C.I.A. issue. Neat, hey?
You got me on tape saying —
Tony pockets cigarette case.
–you’d leave your post in wartime, right.
Now shall we talk?
Guard is red, terrified, stymied under his helmet.
INT. TONY’S ROOM – NIGHT – (A FEW MINUTES) LATER
Sad, terrified, without helmet.
Guard sits naked on bed. Tony at door holds Guard’s uniform bundled in his arms.
Get yourself ready, kid. These stars
ain’t used to waitin’ for that Oscar.
Tony closes door, crosses hallway to Melanie’s door, knocks.
It’s for my little girl with asthma.
Melanie opens door. She’s wearing jeans and plaid shirt.
Got your party duds, Cinderella.
Tony enters, closes door.
GATE GUARD at his post. Melanie, in other Guard’s uniform, doing a very good characterization, walks past him.
MELANIE (Male voice)
Crap, they’ll be screwin’ all night.
Got a joint, thanks.
Melanie goes. Gate Guard shakes his head. These Hollywood people!
Tony saunters down walk past Gate Guard.
Gotta go refuel. Want coffee?
Got a joint. Thanks, Tony.
Tony saunters away. Gate Guard shakes his head.
EXT. CAMP GROUNDS – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Dark, silent, deserted. Melanie waits, plastered to a wall. Tony appears, grabs her hand, shushes her. They run away.
as they dart and dodge. FEATURE Tony confidently pointing the way for Melanie like a bragging boy. All very fun and innocent.
A structure of posts and trestles. Could be under the water tower but isn’t. Fence visible past structure. Bushes beyond. Tony and Melanie scuttle to hide among posts. Melanie GIGGLES. Tony SHUSHES her. They hunker on the ground. They WHISPER.
Crap, that was fun.
Fun’s just beginning.
Is this the water tower?
Sorry, no poker game.
(checks Tony’s watch)
We don’t have much time.
Whatever do you mean?
Melanie takes off helmet, starts shedding uniform. Plaid shirt and jeans under it. Tony takes cigarettes from shirt-pocket.
Well, that boy will get wise eventually.
Not during this administration.
What are you doing?
(gets cigarette in mouth)
You’ve been wonderful to me.
I pimp for a living.
(shakes famous hair free)
May I audition?
(fumbles for lighter)
I’m not hiring right now.
I want you to remember me.
Melanie snuggles close to Tony. Quite close. Tony fumbles with “Bic lighter” (actually a pack of gum).
I don’t hire amateurs.
I make you nervous, don’t I?
In your dreams.
Then why are you trying to light that
cigarette with a pack of gum?
Tony throws gum away, takes out lighter.
Here, let Melanie.
Melanie lights Tony’s cigarette. Tony draws on it, staring at Melanie. Melanie clicks lighter three times.
What are you up to?
I’m up to three.
Melanie clicks lighter again, three times.
What’s our time frame?
Close to midnight. Kiss me before
I turn into a pumpkin.
Melanie clicks lighter again. Tony grabs her hand, roughly.
Fuck me before I turn into a bumpkin.
What happens at midnight under the water tower?
You get a lot of drips? What do you mean?
I mean whoever you were planning to meet
is fucked in a whole new way.
My, my, my.
Your boyfriend will have to make himself
at home. We are under a guard tower, at
the opposite corner of the base from the
On stilts high above the ground. Two GUARDS wearing Walkmen are not about to hear anything whispered right under them.
You were sending out signals to someone
today. Who? And for what?
Oh, Tony, I was sending out mixed
signals. You got the wrong one.
Remember? “Three strikes?”
Melanie clicks Bic three times. Tony grabs the lighter, angrily, shoves it into his pocket. O.S. RUSTLING IN BUSHES.
And unfortunately, you’re out.
You fucked-up Hollywood —
A gloved hand covers Tony’s mouth.
Another gloved hand covers Melanie’s mouth.
blinks in surprise.
looks at Tony.
has eyes only for Tony.
bites hand over her mouth. It is removed for a second.
Don’t hurt him!
Hand muffles Melanie’s mouth again.
gives Melanie a quizzical glance before something knocks him out.
bound, on dirt floor of tent, tethered loosely to tent pole. He comes to.
Tony lies against tent post. Melanie squats beside him, cleans his face. Legs of TWO REBEL SOLDIERS (TENT GUARDS) behind Melanie.
What in Hell are you doing?
I in Hell am worrying about you.
Where, when, what, who, how, why?
They weren’t supposed to take you.
Don’t worry. You won’t be harmed.
I been hit on the head. I been harmed.
They don’t want you.
How do they treat people they do
want? They who?
SOUND OF TENT FLAP. CAMP NOISES O.S. briefly increase. Tent Guards’ legs snap to attention. Tony turns his head to see —
–including Tent Guards. REBEL LEADER enters tent. He’s an uglier-than-usual customer.
Oh, shit, the ruttin’ rebels. We’re
raped and dismembered.
–take hold of Melanie’s shoulders.
Tony screams and throws himself about.
No, goddamit, no! Leave her the
Tent Guard raises rifle to bonk Tony with its butt. Melanie sternly grabs Tent Guard’s arm.
(To Rebel Leader)
No harm is to come to him.
Okay. Sorry, Tony.
(to Rebel Leader)
Just so that’s understood. Let’s go.
A Tent Guard holds back tent flap. ROWDY CAMP NOISES O.S. Rebel Leader goes to flap and beckons Melanie to follow him.
Wait! What are you doing? Where
are you going? You don’t know what
these animals are. They crucify their captives!
–beautiful, caring. Her hand caresses Tony’s face.
Don’t worry about me, Tony. I’m not
Melanie stands, revealing that she wears Rebel uniform.
…I’m a defector.
Melanie, Rebel Leader, and Soldiers leave. Tent flap closes behind them.
Tony is stunned, trying to think of a comeback to that. Tony rolls over as near to tent flap as his tether allows. He can just reach far enough to lie on his belly and see under flap —
tents around a flickering campfire. RAUCOUS CAMP NOISES. REBELS move about in obvious busy preparations for something.
Melanie and Rebel Leader stand with TWO REBEL SOLDIERS who hold TWO BUDDHIST PRIESTS by their arms. The two Tent Guards stand with the group, rifles ready. Melanie and Rebel Leader TALK heatedly. Their words cannot be distinguished.
trying to hear and see.
Melanie’s conversation with the Rebel Leader grows more heated. The Tent Guards grab her. Rebel Soldiers drag Priests away. OTHER REBEL SOLDIERS follow. Tent Guards drag Melanie away. She screams:
No! Don’t! You can’t do this!
This wasn’t in the bargain!
You two-timing, welching son of a
bitch! You can’t do this! This is
Tent Guards drag Melanie out of sight, still screaming.
struggles futilely against his bonds.
Tony! Don’t let them do this! Help
me! Stop them! Help me!
Rebel Leader stares O.S. where Melanie and Priests have gone. He glances briefly at Tony, then follows Melanie and Priests, yells:
Tie them to the stakes!
Rebel Leader walks out of frame. All the Rebels in the camp follow him, YELLING with fiendish glee. MELANIE’S VOICE continues VO, incoherent to Tony and us.
Melanie! Melanie! You hurt her and
I’ll eat your gizzards! Melanie!
REBEL LEADER (O.S.)
Ready. Aim. Fire!
stops, stunned, then thrashes, only tangling himself in tether.
Bastards! Fuckers! Murderers!
Tony’s tirade is cut short as a FIGURE in Rebel uniform seems to leap through the tent flaps at him, striking him full force.
Tony and the Figure roll about on the dirt floor.
You don’t kill me that easy, you
pus-sucking, baby-buggering, nun-
raping, garbage-brained —
The Figure detaches itself from Tony. It’s Melanie, looking messy. Melanie starts instantly to work on Tony’s ropes.
Keep talking. They deserve it.
They shot the priests!
Shut up! How does this come undone?
Knife. In my pocket. Cigarette
Melanie quizzically takes out Tony’s cigarette lighter.
Make the flame higher.
Melanie turns the little flame-height dial. A blade snaps out of the bottom of the lighter. Melanie blinks, but instantly starts cutting Tony’s ropes.
Cute. They didn’t take it.
They’re soldiers. They’re stupid.
(gets a hand free)
(takes knife, saws)
Let me help.
Melanie takes switchblade from her pants, helps cut Tony’s bonds.
Tony is surprised by the knife.
Where’d you get that?
While they were dragging me. They’re
soldiers. They’re stupid.
(freed, shakes off ropes)
Who were the priests?
Later. Lock arms.
Melanie holds out her right arm. Tony automatically links it with his left. Melanie has her knife in her left hand, Tony has his in his right. Melanie nods at —
— the shadows of two Tent Guards.
Aim for the nape of the neck.
looks at Guards’ shadows, looks at his and Melanie’s knives, obviously poised to stab Guards, looks at
They shot the priests.
Tony hesitates only for a second, then nods in agreement. Tony and Melanie barrel forward, knives poised at neck height.
The Tent Guards flanking the tent flap suddenly jerk, jerk again, fall silently.
Tony and Melanie give one more jab, withdraw their knives. Tony looks at Melanie for an instant. Melanie wipes her knife clean on her pants and stows it. Tony shrugs and does the same. They peek out tent-flap.
SCREAMING Rebels drag Priests’ bodies away. No one is looking at a dinky prisoners’ tent.
In foreground, last few Rebels run right past tent.
front of tent. Melanie (remember she’s wearing Rebel uniform) emerges. She quickly puts on dead Guard’s cap to hide her face. She takes dead Guards’ ammo belts. Tony emerges and takes their guns. Tony looks nervously where Rebels have gone, then longingly in opposite direction. He holds out his hand for Melanie’s. She takes a rifle. She strips jacket and cap off one Guard, slaps cap on Tony. She shoves Guard’s jacket at Tony, and starts off other way than Rebels into jungle. Tony follows her.
EXT. THE JUNGLE – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Moonlit and scary. Distant CRIES OF REBELS O.S. Tony and Melanie crash through vegetation. Tony struggles into Rebel jacket, Melanie into ammo belts. FOLLOW THEM into comparative safety of some bushes. Melanie points off.
Okay. Looing-Fo is that way?
Yeah. Come on. Let’s go.
Get on back to Looing-Fo, Tony.
You’ll be okay. You know the jungle.
What are you talking about?
We won’t be safe here for long.
Leave you here?
I know what I’m doing.
REBEL CRIES O.S. grow LOUDER and NEARER.
Don’t be difficult.
I’m staying with you….I’ve
He shows his clip. She shrugs and heads back toward camp.
Melanie, that’s the way back to the camp!
Tony runs after Melanie.
Melanie crawls on ground behind tent. Rebel CRIES O.S. very near. Tony comes out of brush, sees Melanie and tent.
This is insane.
With a jerk, Melanie drags Tony down beside her, shushes him.
Tony and Melanie lie behind tent. Shadows of Rebel Leader and Soldiers on tent wall. Tony flinches. Melanie whops Tony.
REBEL LEADER (O.S.)
She’s gone! The Hollywood whore
is loose! Find her!
Shadows leave tent.
Melanie starts crawling under tent wall to get into tent. Tony grabs Melanie’s leg.
What are you doing?
It’s the one place they won’t
look for us.
Tony makes face which admits this is clever thinking. Tony lets go Melanie’s leg and scuttles in after her.
INT. PRISONER’S TENT – CONTINUOUS
Melanie crawls into tent, stands. Tony scuttles in after her, stands.
Melanie peeps through tent flap.
Melanie peeps through flap. She ignores Guards’ bodies.
Soldiers run off in all directions, leaving camp deserted.
Tony pulls Melanie back from flap.
Okay, I think the radio tent is directly across from us.
We don’t need it. I’ll get you back.
Go back yourself, unless you can run
a radio better than I can.
You’re insane. Everyone monitors all
Ever hear of code?
Melanie, clutching gun, whizzes out of tent across camp.
Tony stands with his hand empty where he was supposed to be clutching Melanie. He blinks, looks at gun in other hand.
He shakes his head violently, dismisses the whole situation, heads for back of tent. Stops.
Oh, Christ, she has the ammunition!
INT. RADIO TENT – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Primitive. RADIOMAN sits on floor with earphones on amidst sparse radio equipment. He looks up.
Melanie, cap over face, bursts in brandishing gun.
looks up, reaches for gun on the floor.
–whips off cap, loosing her famous hair, smiles.
Radioman hesitates. Melanie whams gun butt on his head, dons earphones. A hand grabs her shoulder. She swings gun. Tony jumps over gun and kneels. She hands him earphones.
He was listening to Guns and Roses.
He’s suffered enough.
Run this thing?
First tell me why.
Melanie raises her gun, but Tony’s is in her face first. Pause.
To alert my rescue team.
Tell me more. Start with who.
It’s the Thainians.
Tell me why.
They bought me from the Rebels.
The priests were my escort.
Tell me what went wrong?
They wanted more money.
The priests. Help me.
Tell me why I should.
To save our lives.
I can save myself.
Out of pity for me?
I am out of pity for you.
…To get the rest of the story?
Deal. Who do I call?
Frequency seventeen seventy-six.
Cute. What do I use? Morse?
Voice. Say, “Same song, second verse.”
(shoves mike at her)
Tell me why.
I prefer to remain nonpolitical.
Same song, second verse. Same
song, second verse.
How do they acknowledge?
They meet me at a rendezvous.
We can’t stay here. They’ll kill you.
Please. They know and love me.
Why would they kill me?
Because you raped me.
I’ll say you did.
Why would they care?
They don’t get paid if I’m raped.
Melanie stands, quite confident, goes to tent flap.
In my pants.
Melanie and Tony come out of tent. REBEL VOICES O.S. in jungle.
Keep your face down and act like
you’re looking for me.
A few Rebel Soldiers criss-cross the clearing on search. Tony and Melanie merge with Rebels and disappear into the jungle.
EXT. THE JUNGLE – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Tony and Melanie move through the jungle. Rebel Soldiers flit past in all directions, waving flashlights and SHOUTING.
Not here! Over here! Look here!
It’s a nightmare of identical Soldiers in the brush. Tony and Melanie run among them. We can’t tell them from Soldiers.
stops, crouches to reconnoiter. Tony holds out his hand and grabs another hand. A flashlight strikes Tony’s face.
whose hand Tony holds.
Soldier falls to reveal Melanie, who’s gun-butted him. She holds out her hand. Tony takes it and they flee through the bewildering search party. Soldiers cross in every direction.
EXT. ESTABLISHING – MAK-VO MOUNTAIN – (NEXT) DAY
Dawn. Hoary mountain thrusting out of jungle.
EXT. PATH ON MAK-VO MOUNTAIN – CONTINUOUS
Tony leads Melanie up winding path through thick overgrowth. They’re tired, dirty, dragging guns.
I’m afraid of booby traps.
Do you know what Mak-Vo means?
Do I need to know what Mak-Vo means?
It means “Liberty Mountain.” There were whorehouses here. It was a “combat-free zone.” Probably no booby-traps.
You know it well?
I was probably born here.
Do you have any relatives left?
I got relatives left, I got relatives
right, relatives in the middle of the road —
— because both sides are probably booby-trapped?
Listen, get me kidnapped, get me beat
to shit, ruin my independent reputation,
but nobody steps on my jokes.
STOP as Tony and Melanie come to —
— a large, dilapidated hut, once a bar, stands with an old sign hanging half-loose, reading “LIBERTY BAR” in several languages.
Okay, we’re here. Now what?
Melanie becomes urgent, nervous, wary.
Now you cut out. I’m safe. Please, go.
I think not. You promised me the
You’ll know soon. Please leave.
You don’t know my whole story, either.
What does that mean?
Tony grabs Melanie, expertly disarms her, holds gun to her head.
You may call me, “Bastard.”
Okay, all-y all-y out can come in
free! Show yo-selves or the bananas
get spattered with bimbo brains!
Out of the bushes appear a couple of dozen SOLDIERS FROM ALL SIDES, except Rebels, all with drawn weapons. All wear their own uniforms, plus an armband with an Oriental insignia on it.
looks at Melanie with satisfaction.
Why, it’s a Rainbow Coalition! Nice to
see all you fellas playing together.
But what are we playing?
LOUD NOISE O.S. draws Tony’s attention.
The walls and roof of the bar building shake, send dust billowing, then fall off and blow away to reveal a huge helicopter, its blades starting to spin. The helicopter bears the same Oriental insignia as the Soldiers’ armbands.
Your magic carpet, I believe.
Take off your belt and tie us together.
(at her hesitation)
To use a tiresome television cliché: “Just do it!”
Melanie obeys, binds one of her wrists to Tony’s free one.
Soldiers make as if to advance, but
presses his gun against Melanie’s head, and the
step back like the monsters in the hive in “Aliens.”
Once he’s bound to Melanie —
Okay, take me to your leader. Or
better yet, bring your leader to me.
is genuinely surprised for once.
COMES TO Tony and Melanie, utterly unafraid, but clearly miffed.
Ah, the father of my country. Chiang,
you owe me for those Cuban cigars.
Tony, why are you doing this?
I was educated in your country.
Naw, I just want the loot. Clearly
there’s a bundle for Miss Boobs, and
I’ve delivered her.
Fair enough. Let her go and I’ll
see you get paid by the usual route.
I don’t want the usual cuts to disappear
from it. You can deliver me and my sweet-
heart to the U.N. together. I’ll assume you’re getting more for her than you’re
paying me, but I won’t complain, after
what happened to the good priests. Besides, you seem to have a payroll to meet.
Let her go, Tony. We’re not taking her
to the U.N.
Why? Who pays better?
I do. I’m taking her to Ank-Var.
Ank-Var? Ank-Var is in the hands of
the Rebels —
sighs and makes a signal.
A few Rebel Soldiers (also wearing the Oriental armband) step out of hiding.
— who turn out to be in your hands.
Chiang, what is up?
Something important to all mankind,
Tony. Now let her go. You know you
won’t kill her.
And you won’t kill me, or
who’d get the Victoria’s Secret outfits for your girlfriends?
I’m coming with you.
A Guard holds out a wristwatch for Chiang to see.
Very well. Get her in the machine.
Soldiers ready helicopter.
FOLLOW THEM as Tony and Melanie, bound together, his gun at her head, enter the helicopter. Tony, in doorway, stops and says —
And remember — if I go out, she
shakes his head as at a petty annoyance, enters the helicopter after Tony and Melanie.