Pam, glancing futilely up the steps for help. She gets an idea.
PAM: Will you? Oh, God, please, I hate her gargly old guts. I’ll just go away and let you do it and I’ll never have to hear her complain again!
She turns and starts away.
BIKER: (Flinging Grandmother aside) Hey, bitch!
PAM turns and directs the spray of the hairspray at him,
simultaneously igniting it with Grandmother’s lighter.
The Biker screams and falls back, his entire head a ball of raging flame. He screams. Grandmother screams. Pam checks her calculator for time. Biker falls backwards into garbage bin, thrashing and howling for the longest time, and at last subsides. No human being could survive such an experience.
Grandmother is still screaming.
Pam jams a cigarette in Grandmother’s mouth and lights it. Grandmother quiets down, sucking on cigarette.
PAM: Jeeze, what a mess!
She shoves the Biker all the way into the garbage bin, covers him with Hefty bags.
PAM: Trash to trash. (She checks time again) I’m late on deliveries. Gotta get going!
She runs upstairs, Grandmother following with difficulty. INT. PAM’S HOUSE-LIVING ROOM-DAY-CONTINUOUS
Doc is dragging Father into the house, still strapped to table. Sister is already in living—room with kids, fanning away smoke. Brother is still kneeling, salaaming
SISTER: That does it. No more smoking in the house, Grandmother!
BROTHER: I had great signs from the gods!
DOC: Set it up on the sofa!
Pam enters from basement steps.
PAM: Oh, hi, folks. Behind schedule. There’s cold chicken in the icebox.
She takes out Mary Joanne’s mirror and sees that she is a mess.
The smoke is clearing. Biker’s bike appears, clearly having driven through a wall.
SISTER: What’s that?
BROTHER: (Shaking his candle) I got the wrong candle!
Pam is checking herself out in Mary Joanne’s mirror, washing the top layer of
filth off with heliotrope Handi-Wipes. Smoke is clearing, Doc is plugging-in the table, Sister is turning on the TV, Brother is kicking the bike, and Grandmother appears at the head of the basement stairs. Dogs bark. Babies cry.
GRANDMOTHER: What in the world is going on?
PAM: (Packing up) I’ll explain later. Folks, don’t listen to anything Grandma says. She had a spell. And, father—
Father, his eyes swimming like goldfish, strapped to the table on the sofa as Doc plugs wires in.
PAM: Don’t bother to take out the trash. I’ll explain later. Everything’s just fine now. ‘Bye.
Pam exits, bumping into Mother, who enters with box of donuts.
MOTHER: What’s all this?
FATHER: Take out the trash. Take out the trash. Take out the trash.
SISTER: Hush! It’s General Hospital!
EXT. PAM’S HOUSE-DAY-CONTINUOUS
The house is belching smoke. Fire engines are pulling up. Pam, oblivious to the madness, is running to get into her truck. Pam is still yelling to her family:
PAM: Don’t worry! Everything’s fine!
She drives away as more firetrucks arrive, disgorging firemen with hatchets as we:
EXT. WOMEN’S CLUB-NIGHT
Establishing shot. A dignified building with delicate vines and flowers, a sign, “Landfill Women’s Club,” windows aglow.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL:
Barbed wire fence around Women’s Club. INT. WOMEN’S CLUB-NIGHT-CONTINUOUS
A large room with a small stage at one end. Pam’s Rosy Glow Sales Achievements Awards program is in full gear. Her dealers and their husbands, a wild salad of races, sit at long tables over-elaborately festooned with floral arrangements. They sit only along the backside of each table, theoretically so they can all face the stage. However, the flowers are so tall that people have to stand up or spread them aside to see the awards ceremony.
Many awards have already been given, and the Saleswomen winners are on stage in elaborate “award” gear. Their Husbands sit alone.
One table is entirely occupied by Mary Joanne and the Ladies from her Rosy Glow party; they are the Floral Society.
In general, the Husbands are slumped, bored, sleeping,
reading papers. The Wives are elaborately coifed and dressed
in the extremes of suburban fashion, i.e., wide shoulders,
Onstage, amidst a dazzling gaudy array of golden trophy cups, flashing heliotrope “diamond” tiaras, gaudy satin sashes, fluorescent heliotrope capes with high ermine collars, and boldly bejeweled scepters, Pam, in her heliotrope snood and smock, is finishing the complimentary facials on two shower-capped, seated figures swathed in sheets, their faces concealed under heliotrope mud.
Behind her stand the saleswomen of all races already “awarded,” each standing smiling in full regalia. There are clearly an awful lot of awards yet to be given. Kevin, in heliotrope tuxedo with ruffled front, stands by ready to help, a kind of male Vanna White.
PAM: (Finishes slathering mud on seated figures) Now, we’ll just let that stuff harden and in a moment we’ll all see what a Rosy Glow facial can do. While we wait we’ll give out a few more Sales Achievement Awards.
All the Women in the audience except the Floral Society stand, ready to rush up and be “awarded.” All the Husbands stand, too, Polaroid cameras in hands.
PAM: But first –
All the Women sit. Each reaches up a hand to pull her Husband down.
PAM: Let’s hear it for Mary Joanne and the Floral Society-Mary Joanne and Floral Society stand.
PAM: — who provided all the flowers, which you can see again tomorrow at the County Fair.
Polite to not-so-polite applause. The Floral Society sits.
PAM: (Reading from her heliotrope calculator) All right. The fifty—sixth place Outstanding Sales Achievement Award goes to Hyung Song Wong Macintosh from Dust Bowl!
A FEMALE PIANIST plays and sings “I May Be Wrong But I Think You’re Wonderful” as HYUNS, a tiny Korean woman, waves from behind a floral arrangement and emerges to walk down the aisle, tearful and grateful, to where Kevin waits with tiara, sash, cape, trophy, and scepter. Her huge husband, Mister MACINTOSH follows taking flash Polaroid photos of every step of the way, many of which fall randomly to the floor. We see that the floor is littered with them from earlier winners.
Pam decks the winner as fast as possible. HYUNS stands close to Kevin to have her picture taken, then Pam signals PIANIST to “cut,” and shoves Hyung center stage in front of mudfaced figures to speak.
HYUNG: Sank you. I am so grateful I can hardly speak.
The Husbands applaud enthusiastically. Macintosh shushes tnem.
HYUNG: But I must thank —
Applause stops short.
HYUNG: – all of my relatives in Korea: Hyung Dan, Hyung Foo, Hyung Raw, Hyung Fo-Mo, Hyung Dish –
Pam sighs. CROSS FADE TO:
HYUNG and several Other Saleswomen have now been “awarded.” Another SALESWOMAN, black, is standing by Kevin in full regalia doing her speech as her Husband snaps Polaroids.
SALESWOMAN: — and my “thank you’s” would not be complete
without listing the many customers who have helped me be the winner of the thirty-ninth place Sales Achievement Awards.
She holds up long list.
PAM: (Steps forward applauding, cuing Pianist) Beautiful, Leticia, beautiful. (Pam signals Kevin, who leads Leticia to stage) And now let’s see what a Rosy Glow facial can do! (She moves to seated masked figures) But first, isn’t there anyone here who is not a Rosy Glow dealer —
Husbands and Floral Society stand.
PAM: — who would like to sign up before midnight
Husbands and Floral Society sit.
PAM: Okay. Let’s unveil our beauties.
She rips both mud masks off with one gesture, revealing the Gay Guy and his Lover (of another race). Both of their faces gleam. Pam whips away their shower caps and sheets. Kevin hands them mirrors. They are wildly pleased.
PAM: See what happiness Rosy Glow brings? And we all know what money it brings. Isn’t there anyone here who would like to deal?
Gay Guy raises his hand excitedly. His Lover slaps the hand down and drags Gay Guy away. Gay Guy shrugs apologetically to Pam as they go back to a table.
PAM: (Sighs) Okay, on with the program. Now, Mori lla Susskind will sing another selection.
The entire audience visibly slumps. Morilla, the Pianist, begins to play and sing. Her Husband runs from the back of the room and takes Polaroids of her.
PAM: (To Kevin) I’m exhausted and disappointed and depressed and frustrated.
KEVIN: Well, you’ve had a killer day.
PAM: You don’t know the half of it. (Her cellular phone rings) Excuse me.
(Into phone) Hello? Yuniyoshi?
INT. PAM’S HOME-NIGHT-CONTINUOUS
The house has been chopped to pieces by firemen. Mother sits at table in ruins of kitchen, dealing. Grandmother is trying to negotiate the ruins with her walker. Sister, strewn with kids, is carrying her TV around looking for a plug. Doc is carrying the cord of the torture-table around for the same reason.
FATHER: (On phone to Pam) I finally found the phone.
During this conversation, we CUT BACK AND FORTH to Father at “home” and Pam at the Women’s Club as they talk.
PAM: Father! It costs me money for you to call me on this phone. What do you want?
FATHER; They let me off the torture table while they hunt for the electrical outlets —
Sister and Doc prowling ruins.
DOC: Here’s an outlet!
SISTER: No, we have to find two, because I want to watch Lifestyles of the Bitchin’ Famous while you electroshock Father!
FATHER: — so I went down to take out the trash like you
PAM: — Oh, no —
FATHER: — and I called to tell you I couldn’t because the Hefty Bags were broken and trash was all over the place.
PAM: Ohhhhh, noooooo.
She drops phone and looks around in terrified anticipation. Morilla keeps singing. Phone is on and blinking.
We see CLOSE—UP of eavesdropper, blinking and on, Morilla’s singing issuing from it. We can tell by shadows flickering on it that it is on a fast—moving vehicle.
FATHER: — so I called you there at the Women’s Club to tell you that I tried to be good and take the trash out, so please tell Sister and your Uncle Doc not to torture me no more —
From Pam’s POV we see the auditorium. There are spotlights in her eyes, so it’s hard to see clearly. At the rear of the hall are two great doors. These suddenly fly open and – admit Yuniyoshi and her Husband. She is in the same outrageous fashions favored by the other Women, he is handcuffed and she literally pulls him into the room.
YUNIYOSHI: Oh, look how pretty all the awarded womens are. Yoo hoo, yoo hoo, Pam, I want to sign, I want to be a Rosy Glow woman and look pretty! This what I come to America for!
She comes running down the aisle. Pam expresses tremendous relief. Then her face freezes.
We hear a motorcycle near and coming nearer. Kevin, who has no idea what Pam is so afraid of, tries to comfort her.
Pam’s POV: Silhouette as bike with huge rider bursts through double doors and down aisle. It catches Yuniyoshi and her Husband on handlebars, further hiding the rider, and seems headed to crash into Pam—
—but suddenly stops and spins at the foot of the stage, sending Yuniyoshi and Husband flying through the air to land on Morilla.
The rider is Brother!
BROTHER: Pam, look what the gods sent to me. I got a prize, too!
PAM: (At last enraged) You scum-spined, brain-damaged, vomit-licking, overblown, bloated, stupid, dippy, creepy, bone-worthless idiot, you just about scared me half to death!
She is about to beat him into a pulp, when suddenly —
— the back wall of the stage shatters and a firetruck crashes through to an ear-splitting halt. It is draped with dead firemen and driven by Biker. He is now bald, bloody, and blistered from the fire-treatment, and has fast-food wrappers on the ends of his sofa springs and so looms even huger and more bizarre.
Amidst the screams of the fleeing award—winners and audience, he flings himself through the air at Pam, knocking her onto the still—running motorcycle and against Brother, who involuntarily guns the thing and goes careening through the room. Kevin is left alone and helpless.
With a cry of anger, Biker hops onto the still-running fire engine and pursues Pam and Brother through the hall. Husbands are rushing everywhere to take Polaroids. Wives are screaming and trying to drag Husbands away. The Floral Society hides under or on its table each time the bike or the truck pass, then desperately try to gather surviving arrangements. Yuniyoshi literally drags her Husband away, screaming,
YUNIYOSHI: No, no, no, never, I never join that club!
At last Brother gets the bike through the double door. Biker wheels around and follows him.
CLOSE ON: Biker on truck, screaming. CLOSE ON: Kevin.
KEVIN: So that’s the kind of guy Pam likes.
As the husbands cluster for a last set of Polaroid shots of the fleeing vehicles, we cut to:
EXT. THE TOWN STREETS-NIGHT-CONTINUOUS
With Brother hardly able to steer straight while Pam, her cases flying, clings to him, and Biker in no mood to follow any rules as he follows in the firstruck with all sirens and lights going, the ensuing chase through Landfill and environs can be as calamitous as the budget allows. It eventually leaves the city and winds up on —
EXT. AN IRRIGATION CANAL-NIGHT-CONTINUOUS
— the narrow service road along the winding banks of an
irrigation canal. Near a sluice gate, Brother loses control
and he, the bike, and Pam all go into the drink.
Pam, kept afloat by her cases, spinning in the foam, fighting her way to something solid.
PAM: Brother! Help me! Brother! Brother!
A hand grabs her hand, and helps her up onto the bank by one mighty jerk of the arm of —
PAM: Oh, brother!
He flings her down. Against the almost full moon, in the flashing light of the fire—truck, from Pam’s POV, we see him raising his knife.
PAM: No! Here! Take it!
She shoves a case forward.
He drops the knife and reaches for it. Pam flips the case open and he thrusts his arms into it.
He screams bloody murder and raises his arms, glittering with the sharp-pointed tiaras the case held, many of which are stuck in his arms.
Pam grabs more tiaras and stabs them into him until he is like a glittering dinosaur. He backs away from the excruciating onslaught and at last falls down into the canal just as —
— the sluice gate opens and an especially powerful wall of water pours through to sweep him away forever in its driving depths. No human being could survive such an experience.
Pam collapses on the embankment, laughing from hysteria. She sits up and puts a tiara on her head.
PAM: Third time does it!
She opens the other case, her waterproof money case, and pets her money. Suddenly up out of the dark water the motorcycle rises. It is on the shoulders of Brother. She laughs.
BROTHER I saved my prize bike. Pam? Are you okay?
PAM: Yes, yes, yes, Brother, I’m fine. It’s over. Let’s go back to whatever’s left at home.
She plumps a tiara on his head and they walk toward the fire-engine.
EXT. PAM’S HOUSE-NIGHT
Pam and Brother pull up to the ruins of the house quietly in the fire-engine, no red flashing lights. The Motorcycle is mounted on the rear of the engine.
Mother sits at her table in the ruins of the house, dealing solitaire by flashlight. Sister has found one outlet and is watching TV among her usual cover of babies.
TV SOUND is of gunshots, screams, sirens, and cars.
Father is tied to the torture-rack, but Doc is working on the cord and plug with great difficulty by light from the TV.
Grandmother sits among the ruins, smoking and flicking ashes into the ruins. When she sees the fire engine, she quickly starts using a cupped hand as an ashtray.
MOTHER: Young lady, what do you mean coming home this late?
SISTER: You go out to fabulous parties, and we spend all day trying to advance the family. How’s it coming, Uncle Doc?
DOC: (Squinting at cord and plug) Couldn’t you watch lighter shows?
FATHER: I swear I’ll take the trash out from now on.
PAM: Oh, God, what will we do? I can’t send you to Florida. We don’t even have this house anymore.
BROTHER: But maybe I’ll win the Lotto lottery drawing tomorrow at midnight!
SISTER: Shut up!
(Turns up TV) It’s America’s Most Unsolved Criminals!
Pam sits in the ruins, too numb to sob.
Kevin pulls up in her pick—up. He wanders through the ruins to Pam, sits by her.
KEVIN: Does this mean you’ll be free to fix my wagon earlier so I can get out of this hick town tomorrow?
PAM: Oh, Kevin, what can I do? I wrecked the Women’s Club. I couldn’t recruit a new saleswoman and win the prize. And I’m hopelessly off schedule!
SISTER: Quiet, I can’t hear the TV. And what else have we got?
Pam sighs and looks over her shoulder at the TV, idly. THE TV SCREEN
We see the face of the Biker growing from a small dot to fill the screen as a VOICE says:
VOICE ON TV:
And most wanted of all, the disgusting and dangerous Biker Burnside, whose many crimes and misdemeanors have gained him the ultimate accolade: the reward for his capture now stands at one hundred thousand dollars!
CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN:
Biker’s face on TV, and —
—Pam’s wide-eyed face lit by the TV’s light,
On a huge CLOSE-UP of Pam calculating, we —
EXT. LANDFILL STREETS-DAY-NEXT MORNING
EXTREME CLOSE ON:
A poster. A huge picture of Pam, conspicuously holding her overflowing money-case. Text reads: ” Tonight! Sunday! County Fair! PAM of Rosy Glow! Tonight! Sunday! County Fair!”
A SERIES OF QUICK SHOTS of Pam’ s and Kevin’s hands putting up posters on walls, mailboxes, telephone poles, and under windshield wipers all over town.
EXT. LANDFILL STREETS-DAY-CONTINUOUS
The following dialogue takes place in a SERIES OF THREE SHOTS of Pam and Kevin at various places, postering.
KEVIN: (Handing Pam poster)
But I thought you always said the philosophy of Rosy Glow was to avoid cheap publicity and instead depend on the value of the product and word-of-mouth from satisfied customers to increase sales through positive reinforcement.
PAM: (Putting up poster) Yeah, well.
KEVIN: (Handing Pam poster)
I always admired you for your idealistic spirit in adhering to the tenets of Rosy Glow.
PAM: (Putting up poster) Yeah, well.
KEVIN; (Handing Pam poster)
I thought you were better than the average American in this era of shallow images and media mind-manipulation.
PAM: (Putting up poster) Yeah, well.
INT. XEROX SHOP-DAY
A tiny, ratty dump. The Xerox Sirl is wrestling with paper stuck in the machine. Kevin and Pam, loaded with postering gear, are waiting. Pam, as always, has her money-case.
KEVIN: I feel like I’m seeing you for the first time. You’re vain and greedy.
PAM: Yeah, well.
(To Xerox Girl) Hustle it up, honey, I need those posters.
XEROX GIRL: I’m doing the best I can.
KEVIN: I feel you embody all the shoddiest principles of our decaying society.
PAM: Yeah, well. (To Xerox Girl) Look, that’s a model twelve-twenty. There ought to be an automatic eject.
XEROX GIRL: (Bursts into tears) I can’t help it.
PAM: (Takes over Xerox job) Here, let me at it.
(She starts expertly repairing machine) What were you saying, Kevin?
KEVIN: You ran off with that Hell’s Angel last night and stayed out late. I’m not sure I want to know you any more.
PAM: (Handing him part) Here, hold this.
KEVIN: I thought we had a friendship based on shared values. I think I want to discontinue it.
He hands Xerox Girl part and leaves.
PAM: (Her head still in the machine) Kevin, try to understand. There’s someone I want to be able to find me, so I’m trying to make it easy for him to locate me. Surely you can understand that. Hold this. (Holds out another part, which Xerox Girl takes) Everything I ever wanted for my family hangs on this. And everything I ever wanted for myself. And, well, shucks, I guess you probably know it already, I guess I might as well go ahead and say it, everything I ever wanted for us. … Kevin7 … Haven’t you got anything to say?
SOUND of weeping.
PAM: Kevin? Are you crying?
She turns around to face weeping Xerox Girl, daintily holding two parts of the Xerox machine.
XEROX GIRL: I can’t help it. I only started today.
Pam grabs the two parts and dives back into the Xerox machine. She suddenly turns around and jams a card into the Xerox Girl’s mouth.
PAM: Have a complimentary facial.
She punches a button and the Xerox starts hump—a—bumping smoothly.
The posters sliding out of the machine.
EXT. THE FAIRGROUNDS-DAY
The usual bunch of barn—like display buildings, a surrealistic array of rides. Prominent: a barn-like building with a banner “Commercial Displays.” Mary Joanne is seen entering “Commercial Displays” building carrying a huge floral arrangement.
INT. COMMERCIAL DISPLAYS BUILDING-DAY-CONTINUOUS
Many WORKERS are setting up displays. The fair is not
open until tonight. All Workers wear T-shirts with logos for
their particular products.
Mary Joanne (in a gaudy “Landfill Floral Society” T—Shirt with a huge Bird Qf Paradise corsage) threads her way through a maze of makeshift booths for everything from real estate, anti—abortion, water—picks, political candidates, home spas and Jacuzzis (fully-functioning, with steaming water), lucky Lotto candles (With sign “$75, COO, GOO at Midnight!”), self-esteem tapes (Several of these) , caged parrots ( just being delivered), a Paint-YouerOwn T-Shirt stand with whirling tables on which T-shirts are stretched to be splashed with Abstract-Expressionist Day-Glo designs (Being messily demonstrated as Mary Joanne passes), and, finally, the Rosy Glow booth.
SOUND: As Mary Joanne winds her way through the booths, we hear overlapping Self-esteem tapes from various booths, in a number of different voices, variously soothing, seductive, aggressive, and bullying, some with appropriate music under them.
SELF-ESTEEM TAPES: (Overlapping) “You are one of the beautiful people of this Earth, an unrepeatable miracle, a phenomenon of unique abilities and attractive qualities.”
“Tell yourself every morning: I’m sensational! I’m astonishing! I’m breathtaking! I’m dynamic! I’m decisive! I’m thrilling! I’m stimulating! I’m exotic yet everyday. I ‘m understanding yet moralistic!”
“Who is that delicious person in your mirror”? What hardships and delights went to create that unparalleled, unequalled personality? Everything that ever happened to you is good, because it all went to make you as good as you are. Love your past. It gave you your ambitions and your dreams.”
“Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not wonderfull Who do they think they are, putting you down? What did they ever do that was so great, anyway? You’re worth ten of those phonies! Twenty! Thirty! Forty!”
“Don’ t let anyone tell you you’re selfish! if there were no ugly words, then there would be no ugliness. You’re not selfish. You’re loyal to yourself. And what more blessed virtue is there than loyalty? Poets have extolled loyalty since time began. Everything you do for yourself is just further proof of what a dependable friend you can be.”
“Oh, woe is me. I have been mistreated. Nobody understands me. I never had a break. People are no good. They step all over me if they get a chance. I could do anything if somebody just believed in me totally, utterly, unselfishly, unconditionally.”
“I can forgive everyone for being what they are, because I wish to be forgiven for what I am. I understand that they must do the things they do, for I must do the th ings that I must do, and thinking takes up too much time. After all, who thinks? Failures, malcontents, and troublemakers. I feel very deeply, and that’s good enough for me. if there is an afterlife, I shall be judged, and if there is not, I don’t have to worry anyway.”
INT. COMMERCIAL BUILDING-ROSY GLOW BOOTH-DAY-CONTINUOUS
Several of last night’s Awardees (most with plaster casts on some part of their anatomies), not a white face among them, in tiaras, sashes, and capes over gaudy “Rosy Glow” T-shirts, are furbishing the booth with far too much angel’s hair, chiffon, silver stars, plastic orchids, tinsel fringe, twinkling lights. A giant “Rosy Slow” logo is completely concealed by the overflow of decoration.
The Gay Guy and his Lover are in the background painting pretty flowers on the casts of whoever is not busy at the moment.
MARY JOANNE: I’m sure I beg your pardon, but can you direct
me to the Rosy Glow booth?
AWARDEE: (On a ladder) Ain’t choo got eyes?
ANOTHER AWARDEE: (Lifting a veil of tinsel and chiffon to reveal logo) This here is it.
A THIRD AWARDEE: (Jams handful of cards at Mary Joanne) Here, have some free facials.
MARY JOANNE: I’m sure I’m sorry. I’m sure I’m just delivering a complimentary floral arrangement. I’m sure it’s good of me after most of them were destroyed by you people’s vulgar floor show last evening. I’m leaving it and going to my own non-commercial booth.
AN AWARDEE: Are you sure?
Mary Joanne huffs away.
AN AWARDEE: Where am I supposed to put flowers? Where’s Pam?
ANOTHER: I don’t know. It ain’t like her to be off-schedule.
ANOTHER: Put ’em on the pi—an—o.
AWARDEE WITH FLOWERS: Where’s the pi—an-o?
ANOTHER: Over here, I think.
She lifts some more gauze and tinsel to reveal Morilla, head in bandage and arm in cast, seated gamely at a hastily— repaired heliotrope piano.
MORILLA: Ready when you are.
Awardee jams flowers onto piano, drops veil over area.
AWARDEE: There! Play something to attract business, Morilla.
MORILLA: (From within) I can’t see my music.
AN AWARDEE: You think we overdecorated?
AWARDEE: What does “overdecorated” mean?
AWARDEE: Play something you know, Morilla!
MORILLA: (Hidden, sings) “I may be wrong, but I think you’re wonderful.”
PAM suddenly appears, dragging huge, mounted poster.
PAM: So here you are. I been looking everywhere. For Pete’s sake, uncover the logo. Let him know where I am!
AWARDEE: He who?
ANOTHER: Pam has a boyfriend!
PAM: I mean, “Let them know where we are!” (She starts tearing down decor) Get rid of this camouflage-(She holds up giant poster) And put this up!
The Awardees are startled by the huge poster, a duplicate of that we’ve already seen.
PAM: Come on, hustle it up!
She tears down veil revealing Morilla, who gratefully launches into another song from her sheet music.
MORILLA: Oh, thanks, Pam. (Sings) “Love is sweeping the country! Waves are hugging the shore! All the sexes from Maine to Texas have never felt such love before!”
PAM: (Over the song) That’s the spirit, Morilla! Sing it up. Set up that poster! Make those lights twinkle! We have to attract attention!
MUSIC: Ominous organ stings.
We pan along the canal. We see the tracks of last night ‘s chase. We travel past them to a particularly complicated arrangement of sluice-gates. We see huge footprints on the edge of the canal. We follow them
MUSIC: Begins to pick up as we follow the footprints, in the rhythm of a stalking beast.
POV of walker. Ancient JOGGERS come panting along the canal.
They see the walker and scream and try to run faster. Walker
obviously ignores them and goes on foilowing tracks of first
Pam and Brother, then of fire—engine.
INT- COMMERCIAL BUILDING-PAM’S BOOTH-DAY-CONTINUOUS
Pam is on a ladder with a bullhorn. The poster of her is in evidence. In background, Awardees, their casts mostly decorated now, are selling cosmetics to the small crowd that is beginning to filter through the building. Say Guy and Lover are finishing decorating casts.
PAM: (Over bullhorn) Yes, here I am, Pam, the fabulously successful Rosy Glow dealer with mountains of money! Here I am ! Come and get me!
Mori l la finishes the same phrase of “Love is Sweeping the Country” which we heard before and starts it again.
AN AWARDEE: Morilla, can’t you play the whole song?
MORILLA: I need someone to turn pages!
EXT. THE CANAL ROAD-SUNSET-CONTINUOUS
POV of walker, we are still lumbering forward fol lowing the fire-engine tracks- Dogs run toward us barking, look at us, and flee yelping.
The tracks come to a paved street. We look both ways. No tracks. We look at a telephone pole.
Poster of Pam on telephone pole.
EXT. PAM’S HOUSE-SUNSET-CONTINUOUS
As before. Mother playing cards. Sister watching TV. Babies yowling. Dogs fighting. Fire-engine still there. Grandmother sitting smoking with huge pile of ashes in hand. Father strapped on rack. Bike in driveway. Brother sitting on bike, eating Kitty-Litter from bag. Doc is fiddling with some small electrical device. Biker’s bike is in driveway.
Next door, we see Kevin with his head under the hood of his wagon.
DOC: I think I’ve almost got it !
INT. COMMERCIAL BUILDING-PAM’S BOOTH-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
Pam standing on tip top of ladder.
PAM:Darn! Where is he? I guess he’s not coming.
She sits and dials her eellular phone.
INT. YUNIYOSHI’S MOBILE HOME-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
Yuniyoshi, in several plaster casts, sits looking at her ringing phone. She raises her shotgun and blasts the phone
INT. COMMERCIAL BUILDING-PAM’S BOOTH-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
Pam looks at phone curiously, puts it away. She picks up bullhorn and cries through it:
PAM: Come on, come on, I’m waiting for you!
(Gives up, sighs)
If he’s alive, he must have seen the poster by now!
EXT. ROAD-THE TELEPHONE POLE-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
MUSIC: Stalking music.
CLOSE ON: Biker’s PQV: The poster of Pam.
Biker’s hand reaches up and tears it off pole! He holds it before him. Pause. Turns it upside down.
BIKER’S VOICE: That’s her! But what’s it say?
EXT. PAM’S HOUSE-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
GRANDMOTHER: Well, I ain’t got no way to bathe!
DOC: Sister, look what I invented! (Holds out object to her)
SISTER: So what? It’s a two-way plug. You think you’re Columbus?
DOC: But now you can watch your TV and I can still torture your father!
SISTER: (Hops up, excited) Why didn’t you say so?
FATHER: Let me up. I’ll take out trash!
BROTHER: How long is it till Lotto?
DOC: We just have to unplug your TV.
SISTER: No! It’s Zorro!
DOC: Just for a second. (He unplugs TV and inserts double socket)
SISTER: Wait till a commercial!
DOC: (Re-plugs TV) There!
SISTER: He made a “Z” with his sword. I missed it!
DOC: (Plugs in torture table) There!
Father begins to buckle and moan.
DOC: What hath God wrought!
MUCH WIDER ANGLE: MUSIC: Stalking music.
Biker’s POV: We are lumbering toward Pam’s house. We see Doc dancing in delight, Sister returning to TV, yelling:
SISTER: Just get him to say he raped me.
Also Brother sitting munching, Grandma tossing ash into the air, Mother turning cards, children and animals running wild. Kevin next door in soft porch—light is still absorbed in his car. As we approach ever nearer:
SISTER: I have to do everything around here.
DOC: (To Father) Remember you raped her? Remember how you held her down?
FATHER: (Thrashing) I can carry trash! Two bags of trash!
Dogs and cats see Biker, run toward us- They screech to a halt, and turn, yipping and howling to hide under the fire-truck
Mother sees Biker.
MOTHER: Look, it’s a parade.
GRANDMOTHER: (Of Biker) Him! He tried to rape me!
SISTER: Don’t try to horn in on this, you old coot!
We are actually tramping through the ruins now. Brother sees us.
BROTHER: Am I really seein’ you or what?
Biker thrusts poster into Brother’s face.
BIKER’S VOICE: Read this! Where is she?
BROTHER: I won’t tell you!
Biker’s hands reach out and throw Brother over, as it happens, onto Father. Brother instantly receives electrical shocks by contact and starts twitching.
BIKER’S VOICE: Ha ! Ha ! That hurts you, don’t it?
EXT. KEVIN’S DRIVEWAY-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
Kevin idly looks up at noise, shakes his head, goes back under hood.
EXT. PAM’S HOUSE-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
Biker ‘s POV. Brother is twitching. Doc, who doesn’t even notice who he’s torturing, yells—
DOC: It works! it works!
BIKER’S VOICE: Tell me where she is ! Tell me where she is!
BROTHER: Agggh. No, no, never! Aggggh. I’ll never betray my sister ! Agggggh! You can’t make me !
SISTER: (Rapt on TV) Yell quieter, it’s Tom and Jerry.
Biker ‘s POV: He steps past Brother to Mother.
BIKER’S VOICE: Where is she? Where ‘s the one with the money?
MOTHER: You don’t think I know? She has a will of her own. I can’t do a thing with her.
We spin to return to Brother on top of Father, writhing in agony, and Doc, merrily pressing his button.
BIKER’S VOICE: You better all tell me where she is or I’ll —
GRANDMOTHER: What? Blow our house down? (She cackles hysterically)
Biker’s hand grabs button from Doc.
BIKER’S VOICE: Here! Gimme that!
He presses the button and holds it down. Brother, and incidentally, Father, stiffen in shocked rigidity, electrical current flowing through them non-stop.
BIKER: Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!
TV SCREEN, where Tom is about to do something particularly sadistic to Jerry. The picture disappears in a storm of static.
SISTER: Hey, stop it! You’re makin’ snow! I’ll tell you !
BIKER’S POV: He whirls and faces Sister.
SISTER: She’s in the Commercial Building at the Fair Grounds. Now gimme that!
She grabs control button from Biker and sits down again with her back to him to watch cartoons.
Brother and Father subside.
EXT. KEVIN’S DRIVEWAY-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
Kevin comes out from under hood with a tremendous angry shrug. He slams hood, wipes his hands on a rag, throws rag away. Looks around.
He wanders over to Pam’s yard.
Kevin, walking toward us. With a sad, good-natured grin, he says:
KEVIN: Oh, hi. You ‘re that guy Pam ditched me for last night. Well, may the best man win. I’m leaving town, anyway.
He holds out his hand to be shaken. Biker’s hand grabs Kevin ‘s forearm.
BIKER’S VOICE: Where is fairground?
KEVIN: Oh, you going out to see Pam? I’m headed that way myself. I’ll show you. Unfortunately, my wagon ‘s cooked.
Biker’s hands reach out and lift Kevin into the air, swing him onto the handlebars of the bike.
BIKER’S VOICE: You tell me the way!
KEVIN: (Settlins on handlebars) See, thanks. Just wheel out this way and follow Bellevue to Creedmore.
We hop on bike and gun it up, whirling it about and out of the driveway. As we face the fire-truck, all the dogs and cats come running out from under it and chase us. We zoom through them and head for the fairgrounds.
ANGLE ON FAMILY IN RUINS:
Babies are eating Kitty Litter Brother dropped.
GRANDMOTHER: Awwww. He took Brother’s new bike!
You get Father to confess yet? I’m tired of bein’poor. I want a big screen.
Brother, sitting up with a strange new light in his eyes.
BROTHER: What is this? Suddenly I see clearly. The universe is a web of complex and yet orderly connections!
He turns to where Mother is playing solitaire.
BROTHER: No, no, Mother. Red six on the second black seven. And your next card will be — a black queen!
Mother, glances at Brother, turns up card (a black queen).
MOTHER: I told you don’t do no voo—doo!
BROTHER: That curious biker is a social degenerate driven mad by ignorance, superstition, deprivation, and unrealistic expectations! And his obvious prey is a disciplined, aggressive, dynamic entrepreneur of a trusting, broadly social nature. That bastard took my bike to hurt Pam!
Brother takes off in a startling burst of energy, running to save Pam.
SISTER: Don’t juice— up Father yet. It’s Wheel of Fortune!
CLOSE ON: TV SCREEN
A puzzle appears on screen, blank letters and the legend: “Quotation. ”
ANGLE ON FATHER
FATHER: (Strange new light in his eyes) “The quality of mercy is not strained!”
Sister’s and Doc’s shocked faces.
Vanna White is turning last letters of quotation. Father is right! “The quality of mercy is not strained.”
Sister and Doc, gleeful.
SISTER: You done it ! He can spell!
DOC: Let ‘s go sweet-talk Pam out of some money to go to Los Angeles !
The ruins, featuring fire-truck. Doc drags Father, still on torture-rack, onto fire-truck. Sister is bringing TV.
Biker’s POV: As we speed through streets toward fairgrounds, Biker’s hand is lashing Kevin to motorcycle. Biker obeys Kevin’s route instructions. Traffic veers away from him, crashes, etc.
KEVIN: Oh, thanks, but that won’t be necessary. We take a right here. I think there’s a speed limit.
E XT. STREETS-EVENING-CONTINUOUS
Brother is running along streets, leaping over the cars wrecked in Biker’s wake.
Doc and Sister, Father and babies on fire-truck. Sister has TV plugged into clearly-marked “generator.” “Wheel of Fortune” is still on.
Mom sits in back, trying to play solitaire, cards flying away. Grandmother tries to smoke, lighter blowing out.
FATHER: (Solving TV puzzle) “Acid and Singin’ in the Rain!”
Sister and Doc cheer.
EXT. COMMERCIAL BUILDING-NIGHT
Biker’s POV: Commercial Building in distance. Kevin on handlebars.
KEVIN: Pam’s booth is in that biggest building. I think you can park —
We zoom past the parking lot.
KEVIN: (Beginning to be frightened) — back there?
INT. COMMERCIAL BUILDING-PAM’S BOOTH-NIGHT-CONTINUOUS
SOUND: Morilla sings, “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.” Background SOUNDS: Busy carnival crowd.
Pam is coming down ladder, on which we see letters spelling S-e-l-l y-o-u-r w~a-y t-o t-h-e t-o-p.
PAM: (To Awardee)
I guess my party ain’t comin’. I guess I ain’t havin’ my party.
There are lots of customers around the booth.
PAM: You girls handle the booth. Sell everything. Keep the money. It don’t hardly matter. Don’t nothin’ hardly matter. None. No more.
Ram walks sadly away toward the building’s front exit (Leading to rest of Fair) , with only her money-case to keep her warm.
EXT. COMMERCIAL BUILDING-NI6HT-CONTINUQUS
Biker’s POV: Kevin on handlebars. We are headed for the back door of the building.
KEVIN: I don’t think this is legal!
IN SLOW MOTION: We burst through the doors. We ride crazily through the maze of booths, sending Workers and CUSTOMERS scattering wildly.
SOUND: Quick snatches of the Self—esteem tapes, at normal speed-
SELF-ESTEEM TAPES: “You’re wonderful ! ” “You’re unique!”
“Everybody treats you badly!”
The parrots break loose and fly about, squawking phrases from the Self-esteem tapes at normal speed_._
PARROTS: You’re terrific! Everything you do is okay! There’s nobody like you!
The Carnival midway. Pam wanders through blinking lights, neon, game-booths. Every game booth has thousands of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle stuffed dolls hanging for prizes.
INT. COMMERCIAL BUILDING-NIGHT-CONTINUOUS
IN SLOW MOTION: Biker’s POV: We crash through Jacuzzis, sending steam and water flying. Kevin flies off bike to come to rest on T—Shirts turntable.
Kevin unconscious on turntable, spinning and getting painted with livid Day-Glo colors.
Caretaker and Retards, all holding onto rope, dance by.
Biker’s POV: We turn a corner and see the giant poster of Pam. Screech to a halt sending “success” ladder flying. Biker’s hand reaches out and grabs an Awardee.
RETURN TO NORMAL SPEED
BIKER’S VOICE: Where is she? Where’s Pam?
AWARDEE:Pam’s not here. I can take care of you. Man, you need a complimentary facial.
Biker’s hands toss her at Morilla. We back up and speed away toward open front doors of Commercial Bui Id ing, sending crowd scattering and screaming.
Kevin is flung off turntable, crashes into Lotto candle booth. He stands up shakily, says:
KEVIN: Pam. I’ve got to save Pam!
He runs off, reveal ing a “Lotto” poster stuck to his back. Retards run after him.
EXT. THE CARNIVAL MIDWAY-NIGHT-CONTINUOUS
The Ferris wheel, seen from below (Pam’s POV)
Pam stands staring up at the huge Ferris wheel.
Pam’s face, reaching a decision.
Pam buys a ticket for the Ferris wheel, walks like a convict going to the chair to get into a swinging seat, alone.
INT. & EXT. VARIOUS SPOTS ON FAIRGROUNDS
VARIOUS ANGLES: Biker’s POV in MONTAGE:
Quick shots of various booths and games as everyone reacts to Biker’s apparently dreadful appearance, including
A pitch—ball game booth whose customers flee and whose proprietor falls backwards knocking down mountains of milk bottles.
A livestock building where tethered horses, cows, pigs, and goats react wildly to the passing bike.
The Floral BuiIding, where Mary Joanne and the Floral Society ladies hold flowers over their heads to save them from destruction.
A cotton candy booth whose wheel spins shooting streamers of spun sugar.
A Bungee Cord ride, where people bobbing up and down on Bungee cords shriek in terror.
Fence, in his Kaiser Wilhelm helmet, with his back to us, holding his coat lapels open. He turns and we see watches by the dozen hanging inside his jacket.
FENCE: Oh, hi, Biker, got something for me to fence?.
Biker goes on, searching for Pam.
EXT. FAIRGROUNDS-PARKING LOT-NIGHT-CONTINUOUS
Family on fire engine and Brother, running, arrive simultaneously. Brother runs on into fairgrounds. Family hops down variously.
Sister, getting out carrying TV set, trailing long, long, long extension cord behind her.
The Ferris wheel. Pam is rising high into the air, above the noise and ruckus.
We see the fairgrounds shrinking below.
Pam, standing as her seat slowly reaches its peak. She sets her money—bag aside and starts to put one leg over the edge of her seat, obviously preparatory to leaping.
Kevin, followed by Retards and Caretaker, reaching the foot of the wheel. He screams:
KEVIN: Stop the wheel!
The Ferris wheel operator, reflexively obeying Kevin’s command.
WIDE ANGLE ON:
The huge wheel, drawing to a quick, jerky halt with Pam’s seat on top.
Pam, standing up in her seat. The quick halt almost throws her off. She instinctively grasps the seat to save herself. With one tug, she pulls herself up onto the very rim of the stopped wheel.
Kevin below, shouting:
KEVIN: Pam! Pam!
Behind him, the Retards are trying to clap, but they keep missing their own hands.
Pam, poised like a diver on the rim of the wheel.
PAM: Good—bye, Kevin. Sorry about your wagon!
Pam’s POV: Kevin shouting.
KEVIN: Pam! Watch out! The biker is here) (He points to his left — Pam’s right)
EXTREME CLOSE ON:
KEVIN: (Shouts) I hate to sound jealous, but I think there’s a strong possibility he might be evil!
Pam, looking wildly about.
Pam’ s POV: The outside edge of the Ferris wheel, up which the biker is with great difficulty and stamina riding his bike.
The biker, seen for the first time since he climbed out of the river, is an horrendous mess; to the sofa—springs and the garbage stuck on them have now been added dozens of tiaras protruding from his blood-caked flesh. Dead fish and fresh flowers hang on the exposed points of the tiaras. His burn-scarred bald head and face are in a ghastly snarl, and his eye-patch is gone, reveal ing an empty socket stuffed wi th a fish. If he resembles anything in human history, it is some kind of nightmare vision of a Sumo wrestler in K’abuki clothes designed by Salvador Dali on drugs.
He is riding up the wheel slowly so as to stay balanced, making only a scant inch a minute.
Kevin on the midway. Brother, barely panting, arrives beside him, sees retards looking up, looks up.
(To wheel operator) Start the wheel again. Knock him off!
BROTHER: (With intelligent authority) No. Pam will fall as well.
Brother’s POV: The wheel from below, Pam poised precariously on the rim, the biker, now shaving his bike by foot, inching forward second by second.
Kevin and Brother and a small crowd beginning to gather around them to look up at Pam’s plight. This crowd should gradually grow throughout the sequence until it includes most of the people we’ve met in the story so far.
KEVIN: But we’ve got to save her!
BROTHER: Oh, don’t worry. All my mental faculties are focused now. nothing could prevent my saving her —
Brother’s POV: He looks down at Kevin ‘s back, where the word “Lotto” stands out in bold colors.
Brother, receiving a shock. A parrot lands on his shoulder.
PARROT: Anything you do is okay!
BROTHER: Winning Lotto numbers are a selection of seven numbers from a selection of fifty. Calculating the winning Lotto figures for the last seven hundred and fifty weeks, this week ‘s winner will, logically be —
Brother is galvanized and runs away followed by the Parrot, both screaming:
BROTHER/PARROT: Lotto! Lotto! Lotto!
Kevin, spinning to watch Brother flee as the Retards again attempt to clap, and then spinning back to look up at —
ANGLE over Kevin’s shoulder: With him we see the Biker slowly making his way toward the still-teetering Pam.
Biker’s face. He is huffing and gurgling in joy.
Pam ‘s face. She is transfixed by disgust and horror. She glances down.
Pam ‘s POV: Kevin running away, with the Retards following merrily after.
PAN around to Pam’s money-case lying on the seat just below her.
Pam’s face, tortured with indecision.
NOTE: From here on, wherever we see the Midway crowd, some people are looking up to watch Pam and the Biker, but an equal number either just look up and go on about their business, or ignore the perilous spectacle completely. The crowd comes to include most of the people we have seen throughout the film.
ANOTHER SPOT ON THE MIDWAY-TEST OF STRENGTH GAME
A test of strength game, in which one bangs on a lever with a sledgehammer in order to propel a ball at the other end of the lever up a rod to ring a bell. Along the way, on a backboard behind the rod the ball is strung on, are comic “ratings” of strength: “Lover,” “Pansy,” “Pushover,” “Softy,” “Clark Kent,” “Athlete,” “Hero,” and “King Kong.”
Brother and Parrot run past this game.
PARROT: You’ve got to do everything yourself!
Just after Brother passes, A BIG LUG swings the hammer.
Ball going only to “Pushover.”
Viewers of game. Laughing at the “Pushover.”
ANOTHER PART OF THE MIDWAY
Kevin, trailing Retards, is running through the crowd that has gathered to watch the spectacle above. He passes Sister and Doc, Mother and Grandmother. Mother is playing cards standing up, laying them on Sister’s toted TV. Father is still strapped to the table. Sister and Father are watching TV.
GRANDMOTHER: (To Kevin as he runs past) Got a light? Got a light?
They are all standing by Fence.
FENCE: (Opening coat) No, but I got the time. (Noticing them.) Oh, hi, Doc.
DOC: Hi, Fence. Long time no see.
FENCE: Not since you lost the right to sign prescriptions.
FATHER: (Guessing from game on TV) “Environmentalists of the Adirondack!”
SISTER: Doc, he’s right again! Your torture—table works!
FENCE: Hmmm. Wanna sell the torture-table?
DOC: Later, perhaps. We’re watching my niece’s suicide.
All look up, Mother, Father, and Sister only briefly before they return to cards and TV. Grandmother, Doc, and Fence remain looking up.
ANOTHER SPOT ON THE MIDWAY
Kevin, trailing Retards, runs past a police car, which turns out to be driven by Yuniyoshi. Her Husband is a passenger.
YUNIYOSHI; (Getting out of car) Good, we get in American fair free. That’s why I marry cop.
As cop gets out of car, Brother, with Parrot, runs past headed the opposite direction from Kevin.
PARROT: Nobody will do anything for you!
ANOTHER SPOT ON THE MIDWAY-TEST OF STRENGTH GAME
The test of strength game. Kevin and Retards run past.
ANOTHER BIG LUG swings the hammer.
Ball going only to “Clark Kent.”
Viewers of game. Laughing at the “Clark Kent. ”
ANOTHER PART OF THE MIDWAY-LOTTO BOOTH
Brother, with Parrot, is at a Lotto booth. Signs read “Midnight Lotto: $75,OOO,OOO!” An electronic read-out sign twinkles, “Twenty Minutes till Midnight Lotto!”
BROTHER: Gimme a ticket!
DEALER: Gimme a dollar.
Brother turns and starts begging.
BROTHER: (To passers-by) Gimme a dollar. Please. One dollar. Please.
Everyone ignores him.
ANOTHER PART OF THE MIDWAY-BUNGEE CORD RIDE TICKET BOOTH
The Bungee Cord Ride. Attendant gazing up at Pam. Kevin, trailed by retards, arrives, panting. He points a finger.
What Kevin is pointing at: extra coils of Bungee cord.
ATOP FERRIS WHEEL
Biker edges ever closer. Parrots settle on his shoulders, squawking:
PARROTS: You deserve everything. You deserve everything.
Pam, still paralyzed with fear.
ANOTHER PART OF THE MIDWAY – THE STRENGTH GAME
Kevin (Trailed by retards) and the Bungee Cord Game man run past with a coil of Bungee Cord.
A figure we cannot see swings the hammer.
Ball going all the way to “King Kong.”
The winner, the Gay Guy, being wildly applauded, especially by his Lover. A Parrot lands on Gay Guy’s shoulder.
PARROT: You can do anything!
Gay Guy flexes his muscle. His Lover feels it, admiringly.
AT THE LOTTO GAME
Brother still begging. Sign: “Ten minutes to Midnight Lotto.”
BROTHER: (To unheeding passers-by) A dollar. All I need is a dollar.
A PASSERBY: Look at that, Luke. Landfill is goin’ to hell.
LUKE: Yeah, we got panhandlers now, just like New York.
PARROT: Help yourself ! Help yourself !
Brother, getting an idea.
AT THE FOOT OF THE FERRIS WHEEL:
Kevin and Bungee cord man have tied one end of Bungee cord to the bumper of Yuniyoshi’s Husband’s cop car. Yuniyoshi and her Husband sit on the front fenders of the car to hold it down. The other end of the cord is tied to a derrick crane.
KEVIN: Stand back now. (Calls) I ‘m corning, Pam !
Yuniyoshi and Husband, watching in puzzlement.
YUNIYOSHI:hat they do? Is this American custom?
HUSBAND: (Admiring ) He’s gonna save his girl.
Derrick crane, stretching the Bungee cord higher and higher.
THE LOTTO BOOTH
An improvised booth made of giant Lotto posters leaning together. Mother sits at a card table, still dealing solitaire, a parrot beside her as she chants:
MOTHER/PARROT : See the real New York panhandler. Five cents.
A line of people moves forward to enter the booth one by one
INSIDE THE BOOTH
People file past as Brother mumbles,
BROTHER: Spare any change, man? Hey, got a nickel for a cup of coffee7 Gimme some change, man, I ain’t et in a week.
Each customer drops a nickel in Brother’s outstretched “I ( Heart) New York” paper cup.
The derrick crane, deftly hooking the Bungee cord tautly on the rim of the Ferris wheel.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL:
Pam, right by the place where the cord is hooked, still tottering on the edge of destruction, Biker ever nearer.
AT THE FOOT OF THE FERRIS WHEEL
Kevin shakes hands with the Bungee cord man, hangs onto the taut cord, and nods his head.
Yuniyoshi and her Husband hop off the car, which bounces upward, releasing the Bungee cord with Kevin on it.
The Retards, trying to applaud Kevin, and failing.
TRACK UPWARD WITH
Kevin at the end of the Bungee cord, flying upward.
Kevin’s POV: Imperiled Pam and menacing Biker, zooming nearer.
Kevin ‘s face as he speeds through space.
KEVIN: I’m coming, Pam! Don’t worry!
We are above Pam and the Biker, watching Kevin shoot up through space with a smile on his beautiful face.
Directly at Pam’s feet, Kevin’s head hits the rim of the wheel with a resounding “Clang!”
Kevin bounces down and then back, slinging around the rim of the wheel and being thrown —
PAM’S FERRIS WHEEL SEAT
— right into Pam’s seat, where he lies unconscious with his head on her case of money.
Pam, wavering as she looks back and forth between Kevin and
-Biker, who has reached her at last.
Pam and Biker. As he reaches for her, she falls —
the crowd below, looking up, gasping.
PAM’S FERRIS WHEEL SEAT
She falls into the seat with Kevin and her money-case.
Crowd below, sighing.
ANGLE BEHIND PAM’S FERRIS WHEEL SEAT
Pam cringes as Biker crawls on his hands and knees to loom just above her.
BIKE: Now I gotcha!
PAM: Oh, what the hell do I care? Take my money! (She picks up money case.) Nothing means anything anymore.
BIKER: (Shaking his head) Oh, no. I’ll take the money, but first I’m gonna kill you.
PAM: So? Do you think I care? Do you think I give a damn for my life? I was about to kill myself anyway.
BIKER: Oh, yeah? Well, first I’m gonna rape you.
PAM: You can’t do anything to me that life ain’t already done. Just shut up and hurry up and do it.
Biker, leering, moving in.
THE LOTTO BOOTH
Brother bursts out of his “panhandler” booth with handfuls of nickels. The electronic sign reads “Two minutes to Midnight Lotto!”
BROTHER: Here, here, one dollar, gimme a ticket,
Bored Dealer hands him one. With the speed of light, Brother circles six numbers and thrusts it back at dealer, who jams it into validating machine just as the sign changes to “One minute to midnight Lotto!”
ATOP THE FERRIS WHEEL
Biker is almost in the seat with Pam and Kevin and money case. The Parrots are squawking.
BIKER: But that ain’t all I’m gonna do. I’m gonna rape and murder your little friend here, too!
Pam, as she gasps and turns to look at—
— beautiful, helpless unconscious Kevin
PAM: (Looking back at Biker, angry) You what?
Biker laughs like a madman and leaps into the seat with her.
ANGLE BEHIND VIEWERS BELOW
We see over their shoulders as Biker leaps into seat and the seat swings crazily. Viewers gasp.
ATOP THE FERRIS WHEEL
PAM: Oh, no, you don’t.
Holding money case, she leaps onto Ferris wheel rim.
PAM: You can chase me, you can torture me, you can rape me, you can kill me, you can take my money!
Biker is grunting angry cries and swinging crazily at her legs as the seat swings with him and Kevin in it.
He bounds up onto the rim of the wheel with her and manages to clutch the case, pulling her to him.
PAM: (Digging in the case he clutches) But no way are you messing with Kevin before I do!
She whips out the illuminated enlarging mirror and holds it up before him.
EXTREME CLOSE-UP OF
Enlarging mirror with Biker ‘s incredibly ugly burned, bloody, eyeless face in it.
PARROTS’ VOICES: Look in the mirror ! Look at your face !
Apparently the same shot, but actually Biker ‘s real face as he screams in terror and f alls backwards.
ANGLE ON PAM
She stands on rim of wheel , just catches case as Biker lets go of it and falls into space.
As Biker falls into ever lower positions, we see SHOTS of the crowd, led by Yuniyoshi and her Husband, but growing to include the Family and Fence, running from place to place as a mob.
Biker falls into a swinging seat of a swirling swings ride, is thrown out and lands in a roller-coaster car, is flung out and falls in a tilt-a-whirl car, falls out and lands in a centrifugal force machine, just a story above ground- level now.
PAM: My God, he’s gonna survive again!
Family, the Yuniyoshis, and Fence, their heads swirling as they watch Biker on the centrifugal force ride.
The operator of the centrifugal force ride, reaching for the lever to stop it. He pulls lever.
The centrifugal force machine stops short.
Biker, as the machine stops and he is flung into the air.
Biker, as he flies through the air.
Biker’s POV: For the last time, we see as Biker. We are falling down upon the Family, Fence, Yuniyoshi group.
Biker’s face as he falls.
BIKER Oh, no!
Biker’s POV: Fence’s Kaiser Wilhelm helmet with its long, shiny point, seen from above as we fall on it.
Faces of Family and Yuniyoshis, aghast.
Full figure of Fence as Biker falls on his head. Fence does not fall. Instead Biker lands with the point in his belly, and splits open and slides down around Fence on all sides like a piece of paper being slapped on a spindle.
Fence, gleaming scarlet with Biker’s blood, stands steady.
HUSBAND: My god, she impaled him on a fence!
Retards succeeding at applauding because this time each’s left hand hits the right of the next Retard, and vice-versa.
Family, and Yuniyoshis. They all look up.
Triumphant Pam, standing confidently on the Ferris wheel rim with her legs spread, clutching her money-case.
Family and Yuniyoishis.
HUSBAND: (Looking down at Biker) Hmmm. (He kneels, takes flier from pocket) I think this is — (He looks at flier)
Husband’s hand, holding “Wanted” flier for Biker, showing Biker’s face as we first saw it , bushy— haired , bearded , eye-patch.
Husband, still kneeling, flier in one hand, lifts Biker’s head and looks at
Biker’s bald, burned, bloody, face.
HUSBAND: My god, it’s he.
Husband stands and shouts to Pam.
HUSBAND: Pam ! You’ve won a hundred thousand dollars!
Pam, smiling and nodding.
ANGLE ON FAMILY AND YUNIYOSHIS
YUNIYOSHI: What? She got hundred thousand dollar being Rosy Glow girl? That settle it! (She whips out contract and pen) I sign, Pam, I sign!
(She signs frantically)
Pam, smiling even more!
Electronic sign blinks, “Midnight Lotto! Midnight Lotto!”
Sign, blinking six numbers over and over.
Mother and Brother at Lotto booth. She’s deal ing cards on counter, he grabs her and swings her, shouting:
BROTHER: I won seventy-five million dollars!
Pam’s PQV: We see Brother swinging Mother around, faintly we hear him shouting, “I won! I won f””
Pam, laughing like a fool and falling backwards into —
THE SEAT ON THE FERRIS WHEEL
— the seat on the Ferris wheel with Kevin. The seat swings crazily. Pam doesn’t mind. With a groan, the wheel starts moving again.
Biker’s bike, balanced on the rim of the wheel. It falls —
TRAVEL WITH BIKE
— and falIs —
TRAVEL WITH BIKE
— and falls —
ANGLE ON BROTHER
— and is caught by Brother as he runs joyously through the crowd —
TRAVEL WITH BROTHER
— to reach all the wildly cheering people at the base of the Ferris wheel just as —
ANGLE ON PAM’S FERRIS WHEEL SEAT
— Pam and Kevin reach the ground and she steps out, supporting the still-dazed Kevin, to be mobbed by friends, family, and admirers, in fact most of the cast of the movie, and a flock of parrots, who cry —
PARROTS: You can do anything! You can have everything! Everything is possible!
The Floral Society rushes to place baskets of flowers around Pam and Kevin, everyone is reaching in to shake their hands, flashbulbs flash!
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
In the foreground, just beyond the cheering crowd, Morilla, her casts painted with brilliant flowers, sits on a truck-bed with her battered piano, playing a joyous and triumphant theme.
MORILLA: (Sings) “The moon belongs to everyone; the best things in life are free!”
EXT. KEVIN’S HOUSE-NIGHT
Kevin comes out of his house, carrying a suitcase and a guitar. He tosses them into his wagon, checks his watch, and ambles over to Pam’s.
with Kevin as he comes into the ruins of Pam’s house.
Grandmother. She is in a regal satin gown, with diamond necklace, bracelets, and tiara, sitting watching television surrounded by very well-behaved cats and dogs, watching TV also. Dogs and cats all have diamond collars. Grandmother looks up to see Kevin. She greets him with a hand that holds a long diamond cigarette holder.
GRANDMOTHER: Pam’ll be right out, Kevin. Wanna watch some TV?
Kevin ambles over behind her.
CLOSE ON TV SCREEN
An INTERVIEWER is talking with Doc and Fence, both in flawless business suits. Their torture table is in evidence.
INTERVIEWER: So with this machine you can really elevate human intelligence by as much as a hundred I.Q. points?
DOC Faster than one can goose a armadillo.
FENCE: Of course it’ll take millions in government grants to find out just how.
A VIEW of a dilapidated military establishment.
INTERVIEWER’S VOICE; And the abandoned Landfill Military Base will become the site of a new facility for research into electrothereapeutic realignment of human intelligence, revitalizing the failing economy of Landfill.
Back to Interviewer, Fence, and Doc.
INTERVIEWER: I bclieve you have some examples of your handiwork here today?
DOC; Indeed we do. May I present Darlene Nightengale and her former students from the Landfill School for the Rationally Challenged:
The Caretaker and Retards, the Retards now bright and perky.
DOC: We made ’em all smart.
PAN down the line of former Retards as they speak:
RETARD I: A society is only the sum of its responsible individuals.
RETARD II: Without an educated constituency, democracy degenerates into tyrrany.
RETARD III: The Stock Exchange is a fantasy. The scorekeepers are running the game.
RETARD IV: Wars are only opportunities for profiteers.
RETARD V: The poor should stop having chiIdren they can’t afford to feed.
RETARD VI: We must drop national, racial, and religious divisions, for technology has made the world one.
The shocked Interviewer, complacent Fence, and thoughtful Doc.
DOC: Now what are we gonna do with ’em?
Grandmother, Kevin, and animals watching TV. Grandmother switches channels with remote control.
“Wheel of Fortune.” Father is middle contestant. His prize money read-out says “0.” The other contestants have no read-out at all. The HOST is explaining the game to father.
HOST: I repeat, sir, you must spin the wheel before you guess or you win no money. Now let’s try again.
GAME BOARD with blanks representing letters. Vanna White stands beside it.
HOST’S VOICE: All right, contestants; this puzzle is a rhyme.
The word “Rhyme” appears at the bottom of the screen. CLOSE ON Father
FATHE: “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
QUICK SHOTS: Applauding audience, irritated face of Host, Vanna rushing to revolve all the letters, Father’s read-out blinking “0”, Father looking happy.
Grandmother, Kevin, pets. Grandmother switches channels
NEWSCASTER interviewing Brother.
NEWSCASTER: And what will you do with your record—breaking Lotto millions?
BROTHER: I had planned merely to move my family to Florida, but in light of the recent horrendous hurricane there —
QUICK SHOT of ruinous storm.
BROTHER: — I’m gonna buy the whole state for a song!
Grandmother, Kevin, and pets. Grandmother switches channels.
DONAHUE introducing his talk-show.
DONAHUE: Today we scrutinize a woman who is a member of an increasingly smal1 c1ass: young American females who have not been raped by their fathers.
Close-up of Sister and her three kids, all richly-dressed. She is beaming and the applause is tremendous.
SISTER: I got a million-dollar book deal!!!
Mother, playing cards. She wears a rich expensive gown like Grandmother’s, and jewelry.
MOTHER: For God’s sake, Maw, cut that thing off. It’s so proletariat.
Grandmother. With a superior sniff, she cuts off the TV. There is now only the light of the finally full moon.
GRANDMOTHER: (to Kevin) Well, I guess you’re waiting for Pam.
KEVIN: Yeah, she promised to do something for me tonight.
GRANDMOTHER: Well, Pam always keeps her word.
KEVIN: (Checking his watch) I wish she’d hurry. l have a schedule, too, you know.
PAM’S VOICE: Yes, well, Pam is taking care of the last item on hers.
KEVIN: (Yells) Hey, what are you, too rich now to keep your promise?
PAM’S VOICE: Hold your horses.
KEVIN: (Yells) I haven’t got any horses ! I have a sick wagon !
PAM’S VOICE: Yeah? Well –
Ram; she steps out from behind a standing wall. She is a vision of refined and glamorous loveliness, her enchanting face, figure, gown, hair, and jewelry enhanced by the moon-light, lovelier than any “Rosy Glow” poster—woman.
CLOSE ON Kevin, stunned.
Kevin ‘s POV. Pam walks toward us, chiffon stole flying, like an angel wafting through Heaven. She comes very, very near.
PAM: Well, relax. I’m about to fix your wagon.
CLOSE ON KEVIN
KEVIN: Pam, you’re —
CLOSE ON SMILING PAM
She knows just how good she looks. Her smile is taunting, teasing.
CLOSE ON KEVIN
KEVIN: You’re — you’re —
CLOSE ON PAM
PAM: Yes, I’m – ?
CLOSE ON KEVIN
KEVIN: -not late.
CLOSE ON PAN
She lays first one arm, then the other, around Kevin’s neck.
PAM: No, I’m not. But about this time next month, I ‘d better be.
CLOSE ON KEVIN
He is entranced. CLOSE ON PAM
PAM: It’s on my schedule.
She kisses him a little, a little more, a lot, as much as people can, as we